Craving for that Touch
by starshards
Summary: Kinomiya Takao. Idiot. Champion. Friend. All three describe him, yet none truly explain who he is, and what he is, is a teenage boy, and like many teenage boys, he has made a discovery about himself. [One sided Shounen-ai]


Disclaimer: No own

* * *

I was always the one to start the fights, though they didn't know why. To them I was an idiot, trying to get a rise out of my stoic captain, childish, silly, immature. A loveable idiot. 

The act was convincing. It followed my usual, somewhat hyperactive nature, leaving the others with the assumption that I was merely fighting against authority- Kai in this case- for the glory of being some five- second hero of the 'average kid'. Someone who had strived against supremacy, with little regard for the fact that we all knew that I could not win. Yet, this was not the reason.

Yes, I was a fan of glory. The booming cheers of the audience, screaming my name, celebrating my teams and mostly, my own victory, I loved it and it is something that I will never be ashamed to admit. However, whenever I turned to Kai, intent on pushing him that little bit further then last time; I was not seeking to gain some kind of strange respect. Maybe to begin with I did, but then things… changed. They changed so much in such little time, and the result of that was that one day, I suddenly realised the method behind my madness during the start of one of mine and Kai's bouts. It was like a slap to the face, a thunderbolt striking me, and a freight train mowing me down in one go, as comprehension suddenly dawned on me, hard and fast.

Kai's face had morphed from anger to confusion as my cheeks began to heat up of their own accord, and with a muttered apology, I had fled, needing to prod the matter further in the privacy of my room. Upon throwing myself onto my bed, I let out a resigned sigh as questions flooded me, tugging at me and threatening to tear my mind apart.

'_Why did I have to ask myself why I was so eager to bug Kai?'_

_'Is it possible?'_

_'Truly?'_

_'Can you like other boys that way?'_

_'Is it love? Fuck, could it be _love_?'_

_'If so, how couldn't I have noticed?'_

_'What do I do now?'_

I had closed my storm grey eyes, allowing my frenzied mind to calm as I took in deep, breaths and concentrated on soothing my crazed heartbeat, the way that kendo had taught me to. Silence filled to room as I lay still, pouring over me and forcing my mind to slow and allowing me to regain logical thought. Remembering all that Kyoujyu had taught me about solving problems, I had turned my thoughts to the start, to the very first moment that I had met _him_.

The story did not start out very romantically. We had met by crossing blades and our first words to one another were taunts, mocking, trash-talk. An attempt to psyche the other out.

He was a good rival, the best I had ever had the honour to face in beybattle, and, despite his cocky attitude and cool disregard for me, I had felt myself drawn to him from the moment we clashed glares. The battle had been close, far _too_ close for one with ambitions such as mine, and, though I'd never admit it, that win was the most influential one I ever had. It sounded stupid. Since then, I had gone on to win tournaments, become the best blader in the world no less, but that _one_ win, which had been so intensely close to a loss, caused me to review myself, to push myself to my limits. It made me a better person, the person that I was, laying on that bed and the person that I am now. And as I laid on that bed, remembering that match, and the respect that I held for him, I began to see why things _had_ changed.

He was cool, beautiful, _aloof_. He was distant, yet he hated to be seen that way. He had a troubled past, one that he refused to share with anyone, yet despite all of this, he made me feel happy just thinking about him. I felt warm and tingly every time we were close, shivered when he turned his stunning gaze on me and longed for, _desired_ his touch.

How had I been so unaware of all of this? No wonder it had been such a shock when I realised, this was the most terrifying, yet wonderfully clear discovery of 'self' that I had ever had in my fifteen years of being alive. They began to make sense, the questions I mean, and I had found myself, answering them in my mind, still unsure, but trusting in what my mind, and heart, was trying to tell me.

'_Why did I have to ask myself why I was so eager to bug Kai?'_

Because I had felt that familiar sense of anticipation rise, and I had, for once, allowed myself to question it.

_'Is it possible?'_

Though I couldn't believe it, there was no denying that my heart was thudding in my chest, frightened, yet excited, like some thoughts that I had locked away and never dared to wonder were finally being liberated.

_'Truly?'_

Yes, I _know_ that it's possible. You can't deny your own instinct, and everything was finally beginning to clear- there was no way that I was confused.

_'Can you like other boys that way?'_

Yes, I know that you can. It's not classed as entirely 'normal', but there was nothing wrong with it. I had seen gays before, and it had never made me feel uneasy.

_'Is it love? Fuck, could it be _love_?'_

The warmth in the pit of my stomach and in my heart, the feeling of relief and safety when he was near, the adoration and respect that I held for him, it all pointed in that direction. Life without him by me was hard to imagine, and not something that I wished to deal with any time soon. The very thought made my heart squeeze in my chest painfully.

_'If so, how couldn't I have noticed?'_

Tears had begun to gather in my eyes as I asked myself that question. Stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I _not_ see that I was falling for him? Was it my naivety? Denial? That part confused me the most, and for a moment, I hated myself. I felt that I was pathetic; a fool who could not see that he was gradually beginning to fall for his team-mate. _But what would I have done if I had known_? Another part of my mind had reasoned; _Stopped__ yourself_? My heart had sunk at that thought, yet my mind perked up. Perhaps the 'me not knowing until it was too late' part was a self-defence mechanism- my body's own way of preventing me from stopping myself from falling so head- over- heels-ga-ga in love.

_'What do I do now?'_

I had bitten my lip, my eyes watery as tears threatened to spill from them. What could I do? I couldn't tell him. For all I knew, he would be horrified. He could completely flip and kill me, or worse; he could break my heart. Confusion had returned to me as I wept lightly, unsure of where to go from there.

Three weeks had passed since then, and life, for all of the team, had resumed as normal. Perfectly normal.

I grinned.

"Are you going to repeat that comment Kinomiya?" Hiwatari Kai hissed, his fiery crimson glare turned fully on me, narrowed and venomous. He was angry, extremely angry, almost to the point of being enraged. My grin widened as my excitement and anticipation grew. I passed my tongue over dry lips, pleased at Kai's reaction when he thought that I was taunting him.

"You heard me, Kai-ki," I replied as innocently as I could, pretending that I hadn't noticed the addition of a girly nickname. His fist clenched at his side- a sure sign that he was close to hitting me. I couldn't wait, it'd be worth it; it would get me what I wanted.

That magic touch.

"That's it you stupid little bastard!" my Russian rival growled as he leapt at me, fist raised, ready to slam into my gut. I closed my eyes and smiled, just waiting.

No pain, no crush of a fist slamming into me, no angry attack. Just a soft, gentle touch upon my chest. Soothing, like the purest of magic. I opened my eyes once again, and looked at him, a soft, loving smile playing upon my lips.

Kai watched him too, and like me, had calmed down, though not as fully as I, he just listened to the melodic voice that had come from the body between us, nodding sullenly.

Rei turned to me, his stunning, glorious eyes fixing upon me, his hand remaining where it was resting against my chest, supposedly pushing me back, while his other stayed on Kai's in the same fashion. Whether he was going to scold me, or ask if I was all right, didn't matter to me. I just wanted to hear his voice.

"… And Ta-kun, please, don't keep winding Kai up. Can't you just try to get along with him?" he pleaded, his voice as soft as ever, giving away no signs of annoyance. I could only nod, and smile dopily, feeling that familiar warmth engulf my heart when he smiled back, lighting up his perfect face.

He turned his smile upon Kai and backed away, letting his palms fall from our chests, and, trusting that we were not about to kill one another anytime soon, turned and walked back over to Max to reinitiate another beybattle.

My smile dropped a little, though it did remain as I raised my own palm to lie against where Rei's had been, not a moment earlier, cradling the last remnants of warmth that signified that he had graced me with his healing touch. Like always, his touch burned itself into my soul like the passion of fire, yet soothed it like cool water; like most cases of love, the ultimate oxymoron.

A low growl tore me from my daydreams. I glanced in the direction that it had come from.

"Yes?" I asked simply. Kai's scowl turned into a sneer as he leaned in close to me.

"Don't think that I don't know what you're doing you little prick," He hissed vehemently in my ear. I swung my head around, eyes widened. He couldn't mean..?

"What are you-"he grabbed my shoulder and squeezed it hard enough to leave a bruise.

"Stop pretending Kinomiya, I know full well that you use me to get to Rei," I gasped and pulled from his grasp, backing away slightly.

"How… how did you know?" I whispered, panic tugging at my voice as fears of Kai telling Rei my little secret bombarded me. My terror rose when Kai smirked darkly.

"Because I do it too," He replied, before turning his back on me and stalking away.

My shoulder hurt, though not as much as my heart did. I realised it too late- I was stuck in a vicious game for the ultimate prize, something I wanted more then anything, and truly loved and needed, yet I had the horrible feeling that for the first time in my life, this was a game that I had very little chance of winning.

I didn't feel much like fighting with Kai after that, so I just went back to my room, feeling more alone then I ever had done before

* * *

I actually wrote a Takao- centric fic... and I didn't bash him! Go me! 

Very, very short, but… meh, I liked the idea at the time… not so sure now… it's very random. The thought just struck me; Rei is the one person that can actually challenge Takao. I mean, his rivalry against Kai is legendry, but if we looked at his results against Rei well… Draw, loss, close win. He said himself in G-Rev that Rei had been the best opponent that he'd ever faced, and that was _after_ his match against Kai, so I figure… why _wouldn't _Takao have a crush on Rei?

Strangely enough, there's actually no KaRe in this… well, there is, but Rei's just oblivious to everything 


End file.
